It’s natural to feel angry sometimes, it happens to us all at some point. If anger is affecting your lfie, there are things you can try that may help.
Symptoms of anger
Anger can cause many different symptoms. It might affect how you feel physically or mentally, or how you behave. Some people become aggressive towards others when they’re angry. Other people hide their anger and may take it out on themselves. It’s not always easy to recognise when anger is the reason why you’re behaving differently.
- faster heartbeat
- tense muscles
- clenching your fists
- tightness in your chest
- feeling hot
- feeling tense or nervous
- being unable to relax
- being easily irritated
- feeling humiliated
- resenting other people
Things you can try to help with anger
- try to recognise when you start to feel angry so you can take steps to calm down as early as possible
- give yourself time to think before reacting – try counting to 10 and doing calming breathing exercises
- talk to people about what’s making you angry – speak to someone who is not connected to the situation, such as a friend, a GP or a support group such as Samaritans
- exercise – activities such as running, walking, swimming and yoga can help you relax and reduce stress
- find out how to raise your self-esteem, including how to be more assertive
- consider peer support, where people use their experiences to help others. Find out more about peer support on the Mind website
- listen to free mental wellbeing audio guides
- do not try to do everything at once; set small targets you can easily achieve
- do not focus on things you cannot change. Focus your time and energy on helping yourself feel better
- try not to tell yourself that you’re alone – most people feel angry sometimes and support is available
- try not to use alcohol, cigarettes, gambling or drugs to relieve anger – these can all contribute to poor mental health
Further information and support
The mental health charity Mind offers more information on:
Where to get help for anger
See a GP if you feel you need help dealing with your anger, they may be able to refer you to a local anger-management programme or counselling.
Anger management programmes
A typical anger management programme may involve 1-to-1 counselling and working in a small group.
A programme may be a 1-day or weekend course, or over a couple of months.
The structure of the programme depends on who provides it, but most programmes include cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), as well as counselling.
There are also private courses and therapists who can help with anger issues. Make sure any therapist you see is registered with a professional organisation, such as the British Association for Counselling & Psychotherapy.
Where to get NHS help for stress, anxiety or depression
Referring yourself for therapy
If you need more support, you can get free psychological therapies, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), on the NHS.
You can refer yourself directly to a psychological therapies service without a referral from a GP.
Causes of anger
There are many different causes of anger and it’s different for everyone.
Some common things that make people feel angry include:
- being treated unfairly and feeling powerless to do anything about it
- feeling threatened or attacked
- other people not respecting your authority, feelings or property
- being interrupted when you’re trying to achieve a goal
How you react to anger can depend on lots of things, including:
- the situation you’re in at the moment – if you’re dealing with lots of problems or stress, you may find it harder to control your anger
- your family history – you may have learned unhelpful ways of dealing with anger from the adults around you when you were a child
- events in your past – people who experience traumatic, frightening or stressful events sometimes develop post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) which can lead to angry outbursts
- substances such as drugs and alcohol – which make some people act more aggressively than usual
Some of the things that make you angry may not bother other people at all. You might find it hard to explain why you feel this way but talking to someone could help you find a solution.
If uncontrolled anger leads to domestic violence and abuse (violence or threatening behaviour within a relationship), there are places that offer help and support.
You can contact organisations such as:
Find out more about getting help for domestic violence and abuse.
This information is reprinted with permission from the NHS mental health website. All information correct as of March 2020. This information should not constitute medical advice, and is not intended to replace medical diagnosis by a professional. If you are concerned about this issue, please speak to your GP in the first instance.