A key part of skills training is learning to analyze patterns of thinking and behaviour. Many people with BPD struggle with negative thinking and behaviours – some suffer with low self-worth, critical thinking, overthinking, worrying thoughts, self-hatred or thoughts of self-harm and suicide.

This constant barrage of negative thoughts can lead to negative or self-destructive behaviours which are used to distract or avoid this thoughts. This could include overuse or misuse of alcohol and drugs, or dangerous and reckless behaviour.

Self-destructive behaviours are those which a person engages in and that is likely to cause harm to themselves (emotional or physical). Many people with borderline personality disorder who come to BPD are looking for help with self-destructive behaviours, such as cutting, suicide thoughts or attempts, eating disorders, dangerous sexual behaviour, gambling or substance misuse.

Negative thoughts are unhelpful, unwanted and repetitive thoughts, which usually leave a person feeling worse off about themselves and their personal situation. By learning how to step back and analyse your thoughts and feelings in the moment, you can recognise and identify the pattern as it is happening. This process is called cognitive defusion, the process of stepping back from thoughts and identifying them in the moment rather than being caught up in them.

Cognitive defusion includes the practice of letting thoughts come and go, rather than holding onto them – you will learn to recognise that the thoughts in your head are simply thoughts. When you cling to these thoughts, your tendency will be to believe them, when in reality there is no factual basis for the negative thoughts.

It isn’t about simply switching a thought from negative to positive, the goal is to learn to recognise that you don’t have to believe that these negative thoughts are real, you can recognise them as simply thoughts that you don’t like and don’t want to spend time on.

By analysing your behaviours, you can see negative patterns, and begin using the skills training to make changes.