We touched a little on validation in the previous lessons, but lets look at why its so important.

It’s a basic human need to feel validated – to feel that we belong, that we are accepted, that we are of value.

Life can be complex and complicated, more so with BPD in the mix, and validation allows us to know that what we experience is normal and that others are feeling the same. Your experiences won’t be exactly the same as someone else’s, but it helps to know others feel the same as you do.

Feeling that we aren’t understood or that we don’t fit in can lead to feelings of depression, loneliness and panic. Validation, an acknowledgement that we do belong and are understood, can help soothe these emotional pains and enable us to participate in interpersonal relationships with more confidence and self-worth.

Validation also shows us that we are important – if someone shows you that they care about your thoughts and feelings, that you are important to them, we feel validated. It’s something that can come from parents, spouses, friends, colleagues – it shows that someone cares and is there for you.

Finally, validation can help us to keep going when we feel like giving up. Being acknowledged, understood and recognised can help us to keep working towards that goal safe in the knowledge someone is there to help us in the difficult times.