Understanding Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Splitting

This post was written by one of our volunteers, Hanan. 

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a complex mental health condition that profoundly impacts individuals’ thoughts, emotions, and relationships. Among the defining characteristics of BPD is a phenomenon known as “splitting.” Splitting involves seeing people, situations, or oneself in extremes, vacillating between idealisation and devaluation.

In this comprehensive blog post, we delve into the intricacies of BPD, explore the concept of splitting, and discuss its profound effects on individuals and their relationships.

Contents

• Defining Borderline Personality Disorder
• Understanding Splitting
• Factors Contributing to Splitting
• Effects of Splitting on Individuals and Relationships
• Coping Strategies and Treatment Approaches
• Breaking the Stigma Surrounding BPD
• Supporting Individuals with BPD

Defining Borderline Personality Disorder

Borderline Personality Disorder is characterised by pervasive instability in emotions, self-image, interpersonal relationships, and behaviour. Individuals with BPD often experience intense emotional swings, difficulty regulating emotions, impulsivity, and a fragile sense of self. These symptoms significantly impact daily functioning and can lead to tumultuous relationships and emotional distress.

Understanding Splitting

Splitting is a defence mechanism commonly observed in individuals with BPD. It involves perceiving people, situations, or oneself in black-and-white terms – as all good or all bad. This dichotomous thinking results in abrupt shifts in perception and behaviour driven by intense emotional reactions.

For instance, individuals with BPD may initially idealise a loved one as perfect but quickly transition to viewing them as entirely negative without acknowledging nuances or grey areas. This essentially means the individual with BPD could idealise someone one moment and then call them abusive and toxic the next. They could also express feelings of abandonment despite cutting people out of their lives.

Factors Contributing to Splitting

Numerous factors contribute to the development of splitting in individuals with BPD. Childhood experiences, such as trauma, neglect, or inconsistent caregiving, can shape maladaptive coping mechanisms like splitting. For example, inconsistent caregiving, invalidating environments, and traumatic events during childhood contribute to the adoption of black-and-white thinking patterns characteristic of splitting.

Children raised in environments marked by inconsistency and invalidation may struggle to establish stable identities and relationships, leading to heightened emotional dysregulation and difficulties in trusting others. Traumatic experiences further exacerbate these challenges, reinforcing the need for extreme categorisation of experiences as a coping mechanism.

The impact of childhood experiences extends beyond internal cognitive processes to affect interpersonal relationships, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. By addressing underlying trauma and fostering resilience, individuals with BPD can learn to navigate their emotions and relationships more effectively, ultimately promoting more excellent stability and well-being.

Effects of Splitting on Individuals and Relationships

Splitting exerts profound effects on individuals with BPD and their relationships. The constant fluctuation between idealisation and devaluation creates instability and turmoil in interpersonal dynamics. Maintaining stable relationships becomes challenging as the shifting perceptions strain trust and intimacy. Furthermore, the internal turmoil stemming from splitting contributes to emotional dysregulation and distress. This is because individuals with BPD have no middle ground as they typically frame people in terms that are absolute.

Individuals with BPD who split can be seen as being overly dramatic due to constantly decelerating things at either extreme end. This can also either be iron-clad or shift from either extreme. This can be exhausting not only for individuals with BPD but also for the people around them.

For example, people in relationships with significant others who suffer from BPD say they feel like they are ‘walking on eggshells in their relationship’ due to BPD splitting due to the tally of every mistake and mishap continues. This is because splitting, which is also described as black-and-white thinking, leaves no room for compromise or reasoning, two critical features of all relationships, especially romantic ones.

Coping Strategies and Treatment Approaches

Effectively managing splitting and its associated challenges requires a comprehensive approach. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) and dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT) are widely recognised as effective treatments for individuals with BPD. These therapies enhance emotion regulation skills, challenge maladaptive thought patterns, and promote mindfulness.

A coping strategy that can help is peer support groups. Peer support groups can be invaluable resources for individuals undergoing treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). These groups offer a supportive environment where individuals with similar experiences can connect, share insights, and offer mutual encouragement. By interacting with peers who understand the challenges associated with BPD, individuals can feel validated and understood, reducing feelings of isolation and stigma.

Peer support groups provide opportunities for learning and skill-building, as members can exchange coping strategies, communication techniques, and mindfulness practices. Moreover, the group setting fosters a sense of belonging and community, which can enhance motivation and commitment to treatment goals. Through peer support, individuals with BPD can develop healthier interpersonal relationships, improve emotion regulation skills, and gain a sense of empowerment in managing their condition. The collective wisdom and empathy within peer groups serve as powerful catalysts for personal growth and recovery, complementing professional therapy and promoting resilience in the face of BPD-related challenges.

In addition to both psychotherapy and attending peer support groups, medication may be prescribed to alleviate specific symptoms of BPD, such as depression, anxiety, or impulsivity. However, medication alone is typically insufficient to address the core features of BPD and is often used in conjunction with other coping strategies.

Breaking the Stigma Surrounding BPD

Despite advancements in understanding and treating BPD, stigma and misconceptions persist. It is essential to challenge the stigma associated with BPD and acknowledge it as a legitimate mental health condition deserving of empathy and support. Education and awareness efforts are critical in dispelling myths and fostering understanding of BPD and its complexities.

This can be done in various ways, such as not letting stigma cause self-doubt and shame if you are an individual with BPD or even know someone with BPD. Understand and share information about BPD, whether through social media or simply educating someone curious! If you have BPD, you can try to socialise and confide in a trusted friend or family member. You could also inform others about events or situations that may cause your symptoms.

Supporting Individuals with BPD

Supporting individuals with BPD involves cultivating empathy, validation, and understanding. One way you could try to understand BPD is by reading books that talk about BPD, such as “I Hate You — Don’t Leave Me: Understanding the Borderline Personality” by Jerold J. Kreisman and Hal Straus, which is a great book to read to help you understand an individual’s BPD. It is highly detailed, easy to understand and has valuable examples.

Another way to support individuals with BPD is by knowing it is vital to recognise the challenges they face and provide a non-judgmental environment for expression and healing. This could be done by providing an environment where you acknowledge what they are saying and do not criticise or demand change but instead try to understand. Also, encouraging individuals to seek professional help and connecting them with appropriate resources can facilitate recovery and improve their quality of life. This can be therapy, peer support groups, or simply chatting with their general practitioner or community nurse.

Borderline Personality Disorder and splitting present significant challenges for individuals grappling with emotional dysregulation and unstable relationships. By raising awareness, challenging stigma, and promoting practical treatment approaches, we can support individuals with BPD in their journey toward healing and recovery. Compassion and understanding are vital in recognising the inherent dignity and worth of every individual affected by BPD.